The Muncruters

As a researcher, of course you have to publish something. It’s part of the job. But usually we publish something which usually contain lots of analysis, theories, social contexts, data, comparative studies, bla bla bla bla. To put it simply, the boring stuffs

If i were given the opportunity to write my own book (I wish!), I would have written a book of stupidity. Yup, it will be a documentation of all those stupid silly shit things that I did in life. A book that can make people laugh. A book that gives a different perspective and alternative on how to see the world, despite of what the world gives to me and to the people with their unique characters in it.

People have thoughts. Feelings. Emotions. And there are thousands of ways of expressing it. You always have choices. It’s up to you whether you prefer to be drawned in your own misery or you just "get up, dust yourself and get back with the flow of the herds" (well, actually this is friedman’s words on neoliberalism :P). I choose the funny way. The funny perspective of life. Funny. Thoughtful (dalem banget, kalo kata adith). A little bit of satire sometimes. That’s the way I like it. I believe that you can always find a funny thing even from your shit-iest experience. Laughing at your own stupidity sometimes. Accepting that we are only just human.

It’s amazing that people who are the victims of tsunami can find the funny thing about it. I went there in 2005. It was 4-5 months before tsunami. There are many people who are involved in the tsunami relief programs were also the victims. They lost their families and friends. Indonesia and the world were mourning. But ironically, when we sat together at the teras on a beautiful afternoon having a nice chit-chat with Kopi Ulee Kareng, they finally came out with… jokes. One joke that I always remember is from Rufriadi (an old friend who just suddenly passed away.. a great man with great integrity and commitment for the development in Aceh). He made a joke about "kapten tsunami" who took away his house. And other jokes. Some people may think it is not appropriate that you make a joke out of such situation, but I guess that’s how we survived. We live in a world full of shits, downcasts, dissapoinments, dissasters, never ending conflicts, political unrests, bla bla bla and making jokes.. humour.. no matter how satire it is, keep our sanity… that life is still worth to fight for.

If you read javaneese philosophy, happines and sadness are only a cyclical pattern in life. Whether you are hot and sexy or sweet and adorable like me (I wish! :P), strange and unique, etc etc, you always have this cyclical pattern. You shouldn’t divide the happiness and the sadness. At the end of sadness one will find happiness. One should always be grateful for whatever blessings one has. And sometimes one tastes both the hapiness and the sadness at the same time. That what makes life as the greatest gift.

And when I look at all those stupid silly shit things in life, yes, they’re all funny. Felt like shit of course, but still…funny. One day (sometimes I even dont have to wait for days :P) I will laugh about it.

And that’s the book i really want to make… a book of stupidity.

Fragile

By Sting

If blood will flow when fresh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow’s rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime’s argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are
How fragile we are how fragile we are

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
(Elton John).

Buat sebagian orang, kata maaf menjadi satu kata yg sulit untuk diucapkan, for whatever the reasons are. Entah teman, pacara atau orang tua yg enggan utk meminta maaf pada anaknya, bahkan mungkin Pemerintah. Ya, adalah sangat tidak masuk akal ketika Parlemen Belanda baru-baru lalu memutuskan untuk menolak permohonan seorang wakil negara Indonesia untuk sebuah permohonan maaf karena telah menjajah rakyat Indonesia selama beratus-ratus tahun. Atau dalam film Civil Action-nya John Travolta, sebuah perusahaan yang membuang limbahnya sembarangan dan melukai pemuda-pemudi setempat, menolak untuk sekedar: mengucap kata maaf dan memilih untuk memberikan ‘uang damai’ sebesar 8 juta dollar, atau sekitar 375ribu dollar (setelah dipotong biaya pengacara, biaya perkara dll) per orang untuk anak-anak mereka yang meninggal jadi korban? I mean, how do they sleep? How do they forgive themselves? Or maybe they don’t feel any guilty at all.

In personal sphere, if you still have consciouness, to ask forgiveness is to forgive yourself. Untuk mengucap kata ‘maaf’ adalah bagian dari proses untuk memaafkan diri sendiri, yang telah melukai orang lain.

Tapi, ternyata persoalan tidak semudah itu. Pertanyaannya kemudian adalah, sampai sejauhmanakah kata maaf dianggap sudah cukup? Cukupkah kata maaf ketika perbuatan tersebut sudah mengakibatkan kerugian material maupun immaterial bagi orang lain? For some people, in some cases, maybe ’sorry’ would not be enough… to compesate. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have any legal action to deal with it, right?

Terlebih ketika bagi sebagian orang, kata maaf menjadi satu kata yg mudah untuk diucapkan. Just say "Sorry" and the problems are solved. Case closed. But, is it?

Talk over? So, ’sorry’ is become something to negotiate? Something that you have to compromise? Sesuatu untuk disepakati? But in personal sphere, it doesn’t always work that way. Kadang-kadang, kita terpaksa harus ‘ikhlas’ menerima kata maaf, bahkan ketika perbuatan yang dihasilkan sudah menimbulkan kerugian… immaterial maupun material. Dan maaf, menjadi sebuah kata yg sulit dan penuh dilema Yeah, sorry…

31 December 2005. It’s new years’ eve. Busy busy busy. First, i have to move to the other side of Dorus. Sharing a family room with Endah, my future room mate. It’s bigger, closer to Ita and of course, cheaper (what else?). After struggling with my essay (not to mention that i was sick at that time. My jaws hurt and the doctor only gave me some pain killer.. ouch… typical ducth doctor!), i finally moved in to my new room. Got a new couch from Zaka, new large light brown carpets from Avi and a lovely small purple cabinet also from Avi… uhm, how nice. Then, i went to new years party with Ita and Sanjay in Scheveningen, to witness how this crazy Ducth celebrate the new years eve.

We also have some Phillipino friends, Agnes, Cates, Rommel and Jason with their two bowls of sour chicken. Yummy. I didn’t cook (wow…tumben) We lit some fireworks in the garden. That was beautiful. We went to the beach together, took some pictures, and enjoy the fireworks.

Then, it turned to a battle field. Firecracker battlefield. Some crazy people just threw small  firecracker to other people. We were taking pictures together when a small firecracker landed on my skirt. I instanly jumped, of course. It finally get off (but i didn’t know it already get off, so i was still jumping around :P), but it burnt my skirt. Not just my skirt, it went to my long john and finally, my skin! Damn. It is my favourite skirt, you bastard. Ups, sorry for my languange..:-) Then i have to clean up my skin and give some betadine. The worst thing is, i didn’t know who the bastard was..:-(

But the next morning was okay. We witnessed the dutch tradition of taking off their clothes as minimum as they can and do this mid-day swimming at the beach. I can’t believe it. I mean, swimming in those brown sands, brown water (as compare to those white sand and blue water in Lombok :-P) hahaha. Anyway, i got new friends. A cute light brown teddy bear (i haven’t named him, yet). A charity, for kids with cancer. I put him on the couch, next to that light blue teddy bear and my beloved porky

Monday, 24 October 2005. Yeah i know it’s too late to write about my birthday but who cares :-).

Thas was my first time of having birthday so far away from my beloved family. I slept at 5 in the morning (thanks to andi and his story, hehe but i guess he really needed someone to talk to, so it was worth to listen anyway) and woke up at 9 o’clock in the morning (how amazing!). Then i spent all day…. cooking with endah and adrian. The entire kitchen were occupied by the two of us. But i really enjoyed it. Because i made some experiments and my guest would be my kelinci percobaan to tell me how it was, hehehe…

The party? of course the party were great..! What do you expect ?  The food were great. Dina, avi, mas wira and others bring a delicious gado-gado. A lot of people came to my party. Even those whom i rarely knew..:-) They just came and introduced themselves and well, it’s so nice to meet new friends anyway.

Some said it was the great religious meeting, simply because we had moslems, christiants and jews altogether in the same room. Looks like we could see the world peace happening in such a small room And actually, their presences made my room a little bit warmer, don’t you think? So basically, it was the great birthday party after all. Especially.. the presents. I just loveeeee the presents. They were the things that i really..really… wanted. Ita gave me a…porky!!! yippiiee! Endah gave me a nice blue sparkling slipper and another little porky (hehe..), dina gave me the laundry bag and bath room brush (which happened to be the 2 things i needed most at that time), kay gave me a box of chocolate (so i finally could eat chocolate despite my mother’s warning not to eat too much chocolate and cheese here :P) and phaedra gave me a pair of wonderful bowls (it exactly the kind of bowl that i’ve been looking at that kado op de hook, hihihi…). So alhamdulillah, it was really a great party.

20 October 2005. Ada pepatah yg mengatakan, jauh di mata, dekat di hati. Setelah jauh makin kerasa betapa seseorang itu sangat berarti…hu..hu..hu.. Pagi ini dimulai dengan bazz bizz buzz teman2 yg tidak tau malu meski sudah dipasang tanda status forbidden lengkap dengan kata-kata "tugassss…" utk memperjelas makna si tanda palang putih tadi. It’s funny how people could easily stimulated by your personal status in YM or by that forbidden sign. The more you ignore me, the closer i get (Morrisey). Hehehe.

But then, when i really listened to them, it made me realize how much they miss me! How this miss-ing thing starts from a very small thing that you usually do. Even your "natural behaviour" or even if you do nothing that important for them. Well, at least it looked like i didn’t do nothing but accompany them to some places, or listening to their many kind of stories or helping them in times they needed so much… in short, by just.. being there for them. Small things, i guess.

And being missed by other people brings warmth in your heart. That you really meant for other people, for your friends. I never valued myself in the sense that i’m really "that important" to other people, hahaha. But on the other hand, i’m kind of feeling guilty for not being there. I’m sorry prendz. But at least, i’m not leaving you all permanently… thanks to YM

Warm Regards,
Herni

24 September 2005. Hari baik dan hari naas. Sebulan sebelum ulang tahun. Pertama kalinya berhasil menaklukan bahan makanan disini dan mengolahnya menjadi masakan yang enak. Pertama, sayuran di Belanda keras-keras. Setelah melalui berbagai macam eksperimen, hasilnya adalah cara terbaik memasak sayuran adalah dengan menjadikannya cap cay kuah. Modal bawang putih, bawang merah atau bombay dan kecap asin serta garam sedikit lalu diberi air. Sayuran pun menjadi hijau segar dan empuk. Kedua, margarin disini tidak bisa digunakan untuk masak. I miss blue band, simas, and meadow lea. But i finally manage to make nasi uduk and nasi kuning with tasty indonesian fried chicken. Yummy!

It’s so funny that there are many ways to cook nasi uduk and nasi kuning. And i choose the simpliest one of course The first experiment was successful. I invite everyone to come. They like it! And well, at least they didn’t get poisoned after eating it.

Then we went to open market. An old batch gave us a bicycle and i decided i want to try it. But Dina said we’d better to switch our bike because her bike is better than one i was using. And we got stucked in traffic light while dina and chrysant (the only two person who’ve been to the open market before) were way ahead us. Suddenly, i decided to speeded up after the light turned into green. At some point, i wanted to checked whether they turned left or not but without slowing down my bike. Crash! I hit a car. In a second, I managed to gain my balance again but Kristian hit me from the back and I fell successfully!

In a second i stood up. Feel a pain in my thigh but so far i can handle it. But when i looked at that bike, oh no! Ringsek. The front tire, well, it wasn’t round anymore. It looked like… kerupuk

Luckily (well, you still have to see the bright sight out of everything right?), it was in front of a bicycle store! So we just took it there. It cost us 58 euro (dina bought a brand new spadboard). We splited 50-50 (thank God).

My first biking in the Netherlands turned out to be a disaster..:-)

31 agustus 2005. Salah satu hari yg bersejarah dalam hidup seorang herni. Titik awal perjalanan menuju satu fase singkat dalam hidup. Ribuan mil dari Jakarta. Untuk 15.5 bulan. Kenapa menjadi penting? Istilah resminya, sekolah. Dengan sedikit keberentungan memperoleh beasiswa dari Pemerintah Belanda, setelah gagal mencoba mengemis ke pemerintah Inggris. Tak ada Inggris, Belanda pun jadilah. Mengutip ery, mau sekolah koki kek pokoknya asal beasiswa dan keluar negeri

Namun sebenarnya itu hanya sekedar mencari alasan untuk mengasingkan diri, terbebas dari segala rutinitas yang menjemukan, konflik-konflik kehidupan lama, dll. Simplenya, having my own space for the first time. Sekaliiii saja. That’s the real reasons for all of this. Me, Myself and I.

Pada saat yg sama inilah, blog ini diluncurkan. Lagi-lagi semata-mata karena alasan yang sederhana: internet disini cepet, euy (meski telat sebulan baru bikin blog). Ditambah kebutuhan akan adanya wadah baru untuk keisengan dikala gak ada kerjaan, otak mumet, bla bla bla (ternyata usil di milis gak cukup utk menyalurkan hobi iseng nulis-nulis, hehehe..).

Untuk siapa blog ini? Pertama, tentu saja: Me, Myself and I. Kalau ada yg baca ya gpp, gak ada yg baca juga gpp. Wong cuma iseng…:-)

Den Haag, awal agustus 2005.

Herni Sri Nurbayanti